Will I Ever Find My Person

I think many of us wonder when we will find our forever person and even if the person that we are dating is that prince charming or "my forever." Is this just a fantasy? How come my friends and collegues seem to find this? Are they all just a bunch of fakers? I've often wondered some of these things and it does beg the question of why is it so darn hard for some people. You can go on countless dates and never meet "the one." What gives? Here is the caveot....I think you know this can be hard, and I think you know unfortunately that I can't tell you when it will happen. What I can tell you is that eventually if you surround yourself with the type of people who align with your beliefs and values, I do think you will find them. They might not be as hot as you were expecting. They might not be as "football player build" as you were hoping. They might not be the blonde that you always thought that you wanted either. But you know what they will be? Safe. Consistent. Consistent effort and interest. How does that sound?

I think it is easy to get wrapped up in all of the stigma with dating nowadays and it only makes it more stressful. Have you found yourself reading the psychology dynamics of what men want and what women want? Have you found yourself reading about what would make a certain type happy? And then some. Maybe you haven't, but I know I practically obsessed over relationships for some time because I just could not seem to figure out why I attracted the types that I did not really like all that much, but would almost repel the guys that were so intruiging. I do think I have some of that figured out now that I have gotten a bit older and that is that I repelled guys who wanted one night stands and things deemed as shady things because I thought these things were....shady! Or more or less, just not for me deep down. When you're young, you tell yourself you can bend to do that in order to prevent a fight or to keep a person's interest, but I can tell you right now....it's the biggest waste of time. For you and them. If you don't believe me, then let it play out. "Things always seem to work themselves out".... they say haha! Now you could be the one exception, and if that is you....great! But for those of us who it does not work with, don't even entertain it. This doesn't mean be crabby about it, but it's just not you. And if that person does not respect that, you weren't meant for each other anyway!

So, will you find your person? I think we first we have to have the right direction in our gut and deep down. So we dont get lost.

Then second, there is no "right place" to find a guy. Believe me, I've tried lol. I think the point of this is to get out of the house. BUT when you are out there, ya gotta be engaged in the world. It's so easy to expect everyone to come (AND ENGAGE) with you. It's okay (and just might be more fun) if you engage with someone else first. Sure, you might interact with a jerk or loser. That might not feel very good, but it's just that. THEY'RE most likely the loser there. Who outrightly makes another person feel bad who is just trying to make everyone else have a good day? Don't think about that one too much and move on.

Third, I found my current boyfriend online. Now online dating is so.....time consuming. My best advice is to do a phone call asap. Then if you like them, go for a walk (in a very public place) and see if you like them further. I always opted out of dinners. And not that I did not want that, but I never wanted to feel like I owed a stranger anything. Because I didn't. After all they did ask (which was very kind of them). But I don't want to be at the mercy of anyone really ever so I'd at all costs try to prevent putting myself in a situation where I owed anyone anything. Debts suck! I just say no thank you!

Fourth, give yourself time. And constantly ask yourself if you enjoyed your time with them. Did they listen to your stories? Did they ask questions about you? Did they seem interested in you or were they so focused on themselves that they probably forgot your name? There is so much to consider, but what was your overall feeling? Were they caring and nice?

There are probably plenty more to think of here, but I am going to call this a wrap for now unless you all would like more (let me know!). But just know that it does take time and like the song says "You cant hurry love." I really believe this. The more I tried to force it, the more I only found people that wasted my time. Take your time and jump on the opportunities. I would suggest this for many areas in life. Good luck!