Am I The Toxic One?

"Am I the Toxic One"

Why do we think this so often? Is it because we are trying to fix ourselves because we believe we need fixing (which very well may be a different problem) or because we have been gaslight a large portion of our time and we are just trying to see what is realistic?

Unfortunately, I cannot answer that for you, but I am willing to guess that if you are here you may not be the problem.

I think anytime you seem to run into a problem with another person it is wise to always ask….is it me? Now, if you are asking this so often and/or you always come to the conclusion to take the blame. I want you to really ask if you are the culprit or not. Determining whether you are the toxic one in a relationship requires self-reflection and honest evaluation of your own behaviors and patterns. Here are some points to consider:

1. Self-awareness: Reflect on your actions, attitudes, and behaviors within the relationship. Are there patterns of behavior that are harmful or manipulative? Do you consistently disregard your partner's boundaries or feelings? Honest self-reflection is essential to identify any toxic behaviors.

2. Impact on your partner: Consider how your actions affect your partner's well-being. Are they frequently hurt, anxious, or emotionally drained because of your behavior? Do you belittle or dismiss their feelings? Pay attention to the impact of your actions on your partner and the relationship as a whole.

3. Openness to feedback: Are you open to feedback and willing to take responsibility for your actions? Healthy self-reflection involves being receptive to constructive criticism and working on personal growth. If you are defensive or resistant to feedback, it can indicate potential toxic traits.

4. Communication and conflict resolution: Assess how you communicate and resolve conflicts within the relationship. Do you engage in healthy, open, and respectful communication? Or do you resort to manipulation, aggression, or verbal abuse? It's important to strive for effective and constructive communication patterns.

5. Respect for boundaries and autonomy: Evaluate how well you respect your partner's boundaries and autonomy. Do you try to control or manipulate them? Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and allowing each other the freedom to make individual choices.

6. Emotional regulation: Consider how you manage your emotions within the relationship. Are you prone to anger outbursts, jealousy, or possessiveness? Emotional regulation is crucial for maintaining a healthy dynamic.

Remember, nobody is perfect, and it's normal to have occasional conflicts or make mistakes in a relationship. The key is to recognize any toxic behaviors, take responsibility for them, and be committed to personal growth and positive change.

And as always, if you're unsure about your behavior or need further guidance, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who can provide professional support and facilitate personal growth. They can help you navigate the dynamics of your relationship and work towards a healthier and more positive dynamic.

Toodles and good luck!!