Tips During Conversations To Be Influential (Pt 2):

Hello again, I hope all is going well in your world! Listed below is the part two on tips to how to be more influential during a conversation. Conversations can be hard when you're trying to be very effective in your communication, but the other person seems distracted, keeps cutting you off, or just never likes what you have to say. All we can do is try to be a bit more influential in the hopes that those people will eventually listen (if that is a person that YOU need to). Please keep reading on if you're interested:

• When do you speak up vs. pause, vs. when to assert yourself vs. pivot, and when to let silence do the talking for you?

  • A simple yet effective rule in communication is to make sure to keep your emotions in check. This will go a long way. And others may not have their emotions in check, this is not your problem and a bummer that you have to deal with it; however, this can be an opportunity to be more influential to them as well.

  • Do not be afraid of conflict. Like mentioned previously, conflict is an ask or demand for a need that the other person wants/needs.

    • The next time conflict arises, don’t just survive it, use it.

    • Don’t take conflict personally. Use this information and analyze it.

  • Don't shrink in moments of conflict. Conflict is an everyday part of life. Might as well embrace it. Analyze what the other person needs and then use this to your advantage when communicating.

  • Every confrontation is a stage - every insult is a signal - and every attack is an opportunity to change or gain a new position.

    • If someone is being verbally combative, don't match that energy but redirect or shift the attention back to solutions

    • Say: "Let's focus on the results we both want."

  • When someone crosses a boundary, call it out without emotion.

    • Say: "Sorry, that's not how I do business." Or: "Respect needs to go both ways."

  • If someone keeps challenging you, it might be that they need to feel recognized and validated from you. Maybe you need to verbalize to them..."I understand..., I hear you...," Or reword it back to them to make sure you ARE actually hearing it correctly.

  • Then speak with certainty and clarity

  • Your job is not to show everyone else in the room what you're analyzing. Your job is to see through "the mask" and use that information to do what you need to do.

    • This helps you understand the motive behind it all.

    • Stop reacting to the surface issues and respond to the root of it all.

  • There is power in silence. You are better off watching, listening and waiting then being the person adding information all of the time. Listen to others and see what THEY need so you can provide that (and what I mean is listen to the underlying needs that they need).

    • Is it to be listened to?

    • Do they need someone to side with their ideas at work?

    • Do they not have the confidence and need someone to agree with them or validate them?

    • Overall.....how do you make the person feel? This will give you massive bonus points when trying to be influential.

      
      

Overall, communication is a two way street. Maybe that person is not ready to talk. Maybe you're not articulating yourself clearly enough. And maybe you did explain it just right, but the other person was worried about something like their homelife. Life is so variable so don't get let down. Just keep trying and improving! This is a skill that you won't regret learning. My dad is so good at it and he's just genuinely interested in these people. But because these people feel heard, listened to, and had fun during the interaction he'll somehow get a discount on something. It's nuts to me, but being likable and influential is not a bad thing. This also means that you may have to handle conflict too. Good luck out there! Hope this helps!